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I never knew how lucky I was.
I never appreciated how easily we all clicked back home, how conversation flowed without strain, how I could bring up real issues without the fear of losing already-fragile friendships. I never realized how easily everything came to me, how I could do everything and actually have fun without having to study for the next forty-eight hours to make up for it. I miss the confidence to say what I think in class, I miss seeing my friends in the halls. I miss theater. I miss Attic Salt, and DC Band, and terrible dances, and Monday Adventures. I miss adventuring.
I never thought that I would miss any of it. I thought that I could just leave Michigan and DC and Dearborn behind and start this amazing life, filled with trendy clothes and intelligent conversations and lattes and music. It's not what I expected. Now, don't get me wrong, I love everything about it, but I never thought that Michigan would actually leave a space in my heart that only it can fill.
College is wonderful; I'm learning so much and meeting so many people. I do have fun, I promise. It's just that nothing comes as easily as it did back home. I look in the mirror, and I don't see myself. I see a tired, haggard, worn-out version of myself with poor time-management skills. The circles under my eyes have never been bigger.
I needed a challenge, but I hadn't expected it to be this big. Living in Chicago...People are different here. You learn a faster, brusquer way of talking and moving. People don't meet your eyes, and they don't smile if they accidentally make eye contact.
I guess that I'm just frustrated and tired. Thanksgiving is coming at a pretty great time.
I never appreciated how easily we all clicked back home, how conversation flowed without strain, how I could bring up real issues without the fear of losing already-fragile friendships. I never realized how easily everything came to me, how I could do everything and actually have fun without having to study for the next forty-eight hours to make up for it. I miss the confidence to say what I think in class, I miss seeing my friends in the halls. I miss theater. I miss Attic Salt, and DC Band, and terrible dances, and Monday Adventures. I miss adventuring.
I never thought that I would miss any of it. I thought that I could just leave Michigan and DC and Dearborn behind and start this amazing life, filled with trendy clothes and intelligent conversations and lattes and music. It's not what I expected. Now, don't get me wrong, I love everything about it, but I never thought that Michigan would actually leave a space in my heart that only it can fill.
College is wonderful; I'm learning so much and meeting so many people. I do have fun, I promise. It's just that nothing comes as easily as it did back home. I look in the mirror, and I don't see myself. I see a tired, haggard, worn-out version of myself with poor time-management skills. The circles under my eyes have never been bigger.
I needed a challenge, but I hadn't expected it to be this big. Living in Chicago...People are different here. You learn a faster, brusquer way of talking and moving. People don't meet your eyes, and they don't smile if they accidentally make eye contact.
I guess that I'm just frustrated and tired. Thanksgiving is coming at a pretty great time.
excited
crappy